LISTENING IS A SKILL THAT MUST BE LEARNED

 I haven't posted anything in a while because I just haven't had too much to talk about.  However here lately , since I realized that I now have a son who just went into 8th grade, I am realizing more and more that our relationship has changed some.  Yes, I'm having a hard time dealing with it and yes I guess I just want him to be little and cling to his Momma forever but in reality that doesn't happen.  I had always heard that when you have boys they will cling to their Momma but at some point they will gradually make a transition and eventually spend alot more time with their father and Mom kind of takes the back burner.  I just realized in the last few months that this is now happening to me and I don't like it!!  I see my son turning to his Father more and more everyday and wanting more quality time with him rather than me.  However, there is one thing that I believe that he and I still have and that's communication.  He will still come to me if he needs a listening ear and it is so important to me to be there for him and make sure I am listening to him 100%.  Listening is a skill that must be learned and there are alot of people in the world that do not have this skill at all!!  

Our kids need someone that they can come to that they know will listen completely.  I know we are all guilty at times when our kids come to us to tell us something that is important to them or they are trying to pour their hearts out to us and we keep right on doing what we were doing and say "Mm-hm" and pretend we are listening.  They are not dumb, they know that we aren't really listening and eventually they will quit trying to talk to us.  So later when we want our children to talk to us, they may close the door.  Don't just hear your children, look at them and really listen!!  This can go for adults as well, in marriages, friendships , or at your job!!  We as adults are guilty of this all the time.  Husbands, admit it, you know there are many times when your wife is talking that you could care less what she is saying at that very moment and really just tune her out.  Well guess what??  We know you are not listening and we as women equate that as not caring, just as our children would as well.   I can remember several times at work when I am speaking to co-workers or bosses and you can just tell that what you are saying to them is not registering and they are simple "pretending" to hear you and again this makes us believe that they do not care!!  Let's think about this, if you want your children, employees, spouse or friends to respect you, believe in you, trust you, and listen to you, don't you think you should do the same for them.  Yes, whats important to them may be meaningless to you but there is a reason they are talking to you about it, so LISTEN.   

Communication is to me the most important thing in any relationship.  We have to talk things out, you can't keep it bottled inside or its just going to keep growing and never get resolved.  If our kids are not comfortable talking to us its probably because we never listened to them before,they are certainly not going to keep trying.  This means they are going to keep it bottled up and nothing good is going to come from that!!  If you make yourself available to them and always willing to listen, they will be more willing to talk to you.  I do not want my boys to ever feel uncomfortable talking to me about anything, as well as my friends or co-workers.  It is a fear of mine that my boys will stop communicating with me but I am praying everyday that they will always feel comfortable coming to me for anything.   I believe that if you lead by example,  you are going to have alot more success.  If you and your spouse communicate well and listen to each other and respect each other I believe your kids will be more willing to as well.  Let me just say this, in my house we have failed at this so many times!!   Its like so many other things in life, such as work, if you have a bad attitude at work your employees are going to also.  If you stay on your cell phone , or facebook all day at work, it's likely your employee's will do the same.  Lead by example and hopefully everyone else will follow, especially our kids.

My son is just beginning his teenage years and it scares me a little.  I've been thinking alot about making sure I am always there for him when he needs me but mostly that he will feel comfortable coming to me.  Really all we can do as parents is pray for them and let God handle the rest, but we can certainly be available and ready at all times to listen!!  If you are not a good listener, give it a try!  You might actually hear something that will make you smile!!  

I will leave you with this verse, Colossians 4:6  Let your speech be alway with grace,seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Good luck to all you parents with teenagers or soon to be!!  Any advice for me, I would love to hear it!!  God Bless.

Summer is Here!!

Finally, school is out and summer break is here.  What a great year we have had.  This past school year has flown by!!  It's so hard to believe that Bryce will now be a 8th grader and Brandt will go into 5th.  Oh how time flies and oh how much I hate it.  It just seems like yesterday when they were just learning to say their first word or to take their first step.  Sometimes I wish I could just make time stand still so that they won't grow up and I can keep them this way forever! However, God has other plans for them and really all I can do is stand back and pray that they follow Gods plan to the fullest. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6  "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it". I try daily to do my part and as a parent one of your many prayers are when they finally do leave the house they will keep God in their lives.  As parents we all make mistakes, I know I have.  They see you go through difficult situations and they watch how you deal with them and honestly I fail at this most of the time.  You teach them how to deal with hard things that occur in their lives by trusting God, yet sometimes as parents we don't use our own advice and of course they are right there watching you handle things in the wrong way.  In my house, the boys are sometimes reminding me of some of the things I have always taught them to do in tough times and then you sit back and think "wow they really were listening" , yet feeling a little bit stupid for doing the total opposite of what you have always told them to do.  The last 10 years of my life have been hard and I have tried to depend on alot of prayer to get me through.  A couple of weeks ago I got some really bad news about my Aunt who is dying of cancer and the boys were in the car. I started to cry and of course they were both concerned.  I apologized to Bryce for crying and for having a Mom that has so much sadness in her life.  I tried once again to encourage that God will see me through.  My boys never cease to amaze me because without hesitation Bryce looks at me and says, "Mom, please don't apologize, considering everything you have been through you are still the most cheerful Mom I know."  Once again I felt so blessed that God gave me such awesome boys!!

The boys had their Fine Arts competition this past Friday and of course I am once again a very proud Mom.  As a Mom, we are always wanting to share the achievements of our children.  Bryce, my 7th grader is in Advanced Band and was also part of  a Brass Quartet.  For my 4th grader, this was his first year being able to participate.  He is in Beginner Band, he did a Brass Duet , was part of the Honors Choir and also did a Duet Acting with one of his friends.  Each category is ranked accordingly with the lowest being good, then excellent, and the best Superior.  Once those rankings have been chosen they will chose one from each school and each category to be chosen as Most Outstanding, which is the best ranking you can receive.   Sometimes, as parents, its a struggle to purchase instruments, pay for private lessons , and just the on going struggle to make sure they are practicing.   It is sometimes stressful and challenging but I tell you it is so worth it to see them get up in front of all those people and perform and use the talents God gave them.  I am so proud of them and honored to call them my children.  These are the things that make everything in life , all the problems , all the pain, all the stress and struggles of life just disappear for a moment and just watch God take over and allow them to shine.  


I wanted to share my boys shining moments with you because that's what us Mom's do.   I realize that most of you will not watch them and some of you will only watch a few minutes and get bored but that's ok.  The Uncles, the Aunts, the Grandma's and Grandpa's and the close friends will enjoy it and they will feel that same excitement and pride that I feel every time I listen to them.  
So here they are for whoever chooses to listen.  I am proud of them and I thank God for their willingness to show their talents to the world.   God Bless.

Brandt's Brass Duet, Ranked Superior and Chosen for Most Outstanding out of all the schools

Brandt's Beginner Band, Ranked Superior

Brandt's Duet Acting, Ranked Excellent

Brandt's Honors Choir , Ranked Superior and Chosen Most Outstanding

Bryce's Brass Quartet, Ranked Superior and chosen for Most Outstounding

Bryce's Advanced Band , Ranked Superior

GO BIG BLUE

For those of you who live in Kentucky understands how important our basketball season is in our state.  We live and breath basketball. Its our favorite time of the year.  There were several teams from KY that were in the tournament this year.  Those being Murray State, Western Kentucky, Louisville and of course University of Kentucky.  That is pretty impressive for one state to have that many basketball teams to make the NCAA Tournament.  It is safe to say we are a basketball state.  

I, myself, bleed blue!!  I am a true die hard UK fan!  I grew up in a Big Blue house.  My Dad was a true Kentucky fan and never missed a game.  Growing up, we knew if there was a KY game on that my Dad would be glued to the TV and we were to either watch it or don't be a distraction in any way during the game.  However, there better be a good reason why you are not watching our Ky Wildcats play and cheering them on.  Those were some great memories I have with my Dad, watching the KY games.  I also remember going to a few of the games with him in Lexington, KY.  Rupp Arena is an amazing place to see and watch a game.  It is so exciting and has so many people in one large place loving the KY Wildcats.  

The Louisville Cardinals and the KY Wildcats are huge rivals and are only about an hour and 15 minutes from each other.  However, you are either a Cardinals fan or Wildcats fan , period!!  You either bleed blue or red.  It's kind of odd because I grew up living closer to Louisville than Lexington yet not a Cardinals fan.  Friday night the Wildcats played the Cardinals in the final four NCAA tournament.  This doesn't happen very often but when it does there are alot of emotions involved.  For myself, losing to Louisville is the worst thing that could happen during tournament time.  I honestly believe I would rather beat Louisville than win the entire tournament, I know crazy huh? The game this past Friday for the state of KY was HUGE, from 6pm to about 9pm I am guaranteeing that there wasn't one KY fan or Louisville fan that was not glued to the TV.  There were alot of emotions happening during that whole week leading up to the BIG game, anticipation, stress, nerves, alot of trash talk and all and all hatred for the opposing team. These are two teams who have always despised each other.  Another reason for the rivalry also is the coach of the Cardinals , Rick Pitino,  was also the coach of the KY Wildcats before he left and went to Louisville , so now us KY fans really do not like him and want to see him fail.   Now let me say this, there are some horrible fans out there that just do not know how to act and take all of this way to serious!  They are cruel and mean and just down right stupid.  At the end of the day , it is still just a game of basketball and after it is all said and done we all still have to wake up the next morning and go to work and continue on with our normal day to day lives.  Yes whoever wins can have bragging rights but in a friendly way.  



So the game happened on Friday and what a game it was.  Both teams played a great game.  I didn't feel that KY played as well as they could have, but I can only imagine the pressure and nervousness those players were facing.  It was close throughout the entire game , both teams played hard and with alot of heart. Both teams wanted to win for their fans, their coaches, and for their state of KY.  However most of all for the chance to play in the championship game on Monday night.  Whoever won would advance and be able to play at a chance to be the #1 team in the Nation.  That's what it's all about!!   Oh how my Dad would love to be alive today to have watched this game and to see who would end up the #1 team in the Nation and how I would have loved to have watched it with him!!  So tonight at 9pm we will see who the champions are as the two best teams face off.  Oh , I guess you are wondering who won the game between the two KY teams, well that would be the BIG BLUE,  The KY Wildcats!!  So all of the Big Blue Nation will be in front of their televisions tonight at 9pm hoping and cheering on their team, in hopes of another championship trophy, of course the Cardinal fans will be rooting against us and probably alot of others too. This could be our year, I know I am excited and anxious to see what the out come will be.  However , when its all said and done, the State of Kentucky represents basketball very well, regardless of what team I root for, I am proud to be from Kentucky and proud of all the teams for representing us so well in the sport of basketball!!  Enjoy the game everyone.

What has happened?

I am so very thankful for my childhood!  I lived in a small town in KY, my school was within walking distance as well as everything else really.  The school had approximately 500 kids in the entire school K-12 grade and I had about 26 kids in my graduating class.  We would walk to and from school everyday without any worries.  The town is so small, everyone knew you and your family and genuinely cared about you. We would ride our bikes all over town and my parents never worried, that's how different the world was then compared to now.  I never heard about drugs or even seen it for that matter, now a days that's all you hear about.  All of my friends would hang out at each others homes and play outside all day until it got dark.  My parents would always tell us that we have to be in the house when the street light came on. So when that light came on we would run as fast as we could to the house.  Today it seems as if the kids are inside way too much and have to have invites to hang out with their friends.  Many times some parents do not even know where their kids are until they show up late at night.  This, to me, is just crazy.


 During my childhood, the most exciting thing for us was hanging out at our local pool, which we walked to and did not have to bring our parents along because they felt safe sending us.  This day and time , I would never send my child anywhere without supervision because there is just way to much evil in the world today.  I never heard from my friends the language that you hear today from kids, I mean seriously is there a class in the public schools today that teach kids curse words??  Sadly, this day and time some parents are using those words in everyday conversation and some kids learn it from them. 


 I hear and see a lot of evil these days and I ask myself, what has happened?  How did the world become what it is today?  Maybe it has always been this way and I was just truly blessed.  Maybe it was because I did live in a small rural town, had the best parents and the greatest friends, and never realized that outside of my little world was all this evil.  I do find it hard to believe that I would have been so oblivious that I didn't recognize all of this growing up.  I do know I had the best friends and best community around.  Growing up there was awesome, it was like having a town full of family.  If some of you are reading this today, I want to say thank you and I want you to know how thankful I am for growing up with you and sharing a part of your life with me.  I am also thankful that I still feel this close to you now and that I know that each and everyone of you has my back!!  Although we may not have seen each other in years , I still know that if I needed you you would be there for me and vice versa .  I am so glad that you and I did not face the evil that is in the world today.  My prayer for each of you is that this evil that we did not face back then has not caught up with you now and that there is only joy in your lives. 


What has happened?  Why is this world so full of evil?  I do not know how it became this way.  I don't have the answers but I do know that I am trying everything in my power to keep all the evil away from me and my family and one way to do this is by keeping God first.  I pray that all of you are doing the same and that only joy will come your way.  


Love to all :)