I am missing my Mom today more than usual. Today would have been her 64th Birthday. My Mom was an amazing person and I am so very thankful that God gave me such an awesome Mother. My Mom passed away on April 5, 2001 at the age of 53. I will never really understand why God took her from me so soon and I still have alot of anger because of it. My Mom was having a fairly common procedure done to help her improve her life and because of a doctors mistake my Mom fought for her life yet did not survive. I understand God has reasons for things like this happening but it certainly makes it very hard to understand. I had just had my first child and she was so very excited about being a Grandma. She loved him so much and wanted to improve her life so she could be healthier and be able to enjoy him more. Bryce was her joy!!
As a child growing up, she made everything perfect and wonderful. She was a stay at home Mom and always made us feel special. She always put us first yet made sure we were always doing whats right. I never really remember my Mom ever yelling or raising her voice but somehow she managed to make sure we obeyed, punished us when we did wrong and always taught us right from wrong. I do remember several times she would say "you just wait till your Dad gets home", because she knew we did not want our Dad to give the punishment. However, looking back now, I think that was just her way of scaring us into doing what we should be doing because I do not think that she really had the heart to discipline us although if we needed it she would certainly give us what we deserved. She was so kind, sweet and gentle that I don't really think she had the heart to punish us, of course back then I didn't know that and was afraid but looking back now I understand because I do the very same thing.
My Mom and Dad didn't always have alot and my Dad worked very hard for what we did have but they always seem to make sure we had what we needed. She always got us up for school and out the door on time, was always home waiting eagerly when we walked in the door from school and was anxious to hear about our day. She supported us in anything we wanted to try and would always encourage us and when we failed she was there to pick us back up. I can remember always having dinner on the table when my Dad walked in the door from work. That is something that alot of families now a days never do , is sit down as a family and have dinner. At our house, Mom always had dinner ready and we always sat down together to eat. She never thought that she was much of a cook but my brothers and I always enjoyed everything she made and loved that time of day when we all sat down and ate and talked about our day together. This is something that I try very hard to do at my house too. My Mom taught me how important it is to stay connected to your family. She had no enemies and she loved everyone. She had a heart of Gold and she wore it on her sleeve.
My Mom always made Christmas so special and exciting also!! I know that she worked very hard to make sure that we had the best Christmas ever. I also know she spent alot more than she ever should have and I am certain that Dad gave her a hard time about that. I find myself realizing as I am older with children of my own just how very hard my Mom worked to prepare for Christmas and even on Christmas day. Every year that goes by I always say to myself how I wish my Mom was here so I could thank her for all the hard work she did to make everything so special and memorable. On Christmas day when the kids wake you up very very early until late into the night I do not sit down and every year I realize everything my Mom sacrificed for us so that Christmas would be perfect. I wish I would have helped her alot more, but sadly you don't realize it until you are older and have kids of your own how very hard work it is.
I am so thankful for the times I had with my Mom. I truly had the best Mom a girl could have. The older I got the more I realized it and I am still amazed by all the memories I have of her. I miss my Mom everyday more and more. She was truly my best friend and there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't talk to her. Although Bryce was too young to really remember her and I was pregnant with Brandt when my Mom died, they know her very well. We always talk about their Grandma and how wonderful she was. I am saddened alot because I know how much my boys are missing growing up without their Grandma. She would be so very proud of them both and I just hope that I am making her proud and doing everything that she taught me to do. I will never be the Mom that she was but I try very hard everyday!! My last words to my Mom were , "Mom ,I love you and I will see you tomorrow"!! Tomorrow never came but I will see her again someday in Heaven and so will my boys and oh what a wonderful day that will be.
Just a small piece of advise for all of you, love everyone that is in your life , spend time with them, if you argue make up, if you hurt each other say your sorry, talk to them everyday. I can promise you my friends, one day tomorrow will never come because God does not promise us tomorrow and you will never be able to do any of that again. So please love them today, share your life them because when they are gone you will be sorry you didn't.
I love you Mom and I am so thankful everyday that God chose you as my mother. I miss you more and more everyday and I can't wait for that wonderful day when God brings us back together again!!