I haven't posted anything in a while because I just haven't had too much to talk about. However here lately , since I realized that I now have a son who just went into 8th grade, I am realizing more and more that our relationship has changed some. Yes, I'm having a hard time dealing with it and yes I guess I just want him to be little and cling to his Momma forever but in reality that doesn't happen. I had always heard that when you have boys they will cling to their Momma but at some point they will gradually make a transition and eventually spend alot more time with their father and Mom kind of takes the back burner. I just realized in the last few months that this is now happening to me and I don't like it!! I see my son turning to his Father more and more everyday and wanting more quality time with him rather than me. However, there is one thing that I believe that he and I still have and that's communication. He will still come to me if he needs a listening ear and it is so important to me to be there for him and make sure I am listening to him 100%. Listening is a skill that must be learned and there are alot of people in the world that do not have this skill at all!!
Our kids need someone that they can come to that they know will listen completely. I know we are all guilty at times when our kids come to us to tell us something that is important to them or they are trying to pour their hearts out to us and we keep right on doing what we were doing and say "Mm-hm" and pretend we are listening. They are not dumb, they know that we aren't really listening and eventually they will quit trying to talk to us. So later when we want our children to talk to us, they may close the door. Don't just hear your children, look at them and really listen!! This can go for adults as well, in marriages, friendships , or at your job!! We as adults are guilty of this all the time. Husbands, admit it, you know there are many times when your wife is talking that you could care less what she is saying at that very moment and really just tune her out. Well guess what?? We know you are not listening and we as women equate that as not caring, just as our children would as well. I can remember several times at work when I am speaking to co-workers or bosses and you can just tell that what you are saying to them is not registering and they are simple "pretending" to hear you and again this makes us believe that they do not care!! Let's think about this, if you want your children, employees, spouse or friends to respect you, believe in you, trust you, and listen to you, don't you think you should do the same for them. Yes, whats important to them may be meaningless to you but there is a reason they are talking to you about it, so LISTEN.
Communication is to me the most important thing in any relationship. We have to talk things out, you can't keep it bottled inside or its just going to keep growing and never get resolved. If our kids are not comfortable talking to us its probably because we never listened to them before,they are certainly not going to keep trying. This means they are going to keep it bottled up and nothing good is going to come from that!! If you make yourself available to them and always willing to listen, they will be more willing to talk to you. I do not want my boys to ever feel uncomfortable talking to me about anything, as well as my friends or co-workers. It is a fear of mine that my boys will stop communicating with me but I am praying everyday that they will always feel comfortable coming to me for anything. I believe that if you lead by example, you are going to have alot more success. If you and your spouse communicate well and listen to each other and respect each other I believe your kids will be more willing to as well. Let me just say this, in my house we have failed at this so many times!! Its like so many other things in life, such as work, if you have a bad attitude at work your employees are going to also. If you stay on your cell phone , or facebook all day at work, it's likely your employee's will do the same. Lead by example and hopefully everyone else will follow, especially our kids.
My son is just beginning his teenage years and it scares me a little. I've been thinking alot about making sure I am always there for him when he needs me but mostly that he will feel comfortable coming to me. Really all we can do as parents is pray for them and let God handle the rest, but we can certainly be available and ready at all times to listen!! If you are not a good listener, give it a try! You might actually hear something that will make you smile!!
I will leave you with this verse, Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be alway with grace,seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Good luck to all you parents with teenagers or soon to be!! Any advice for me, I would love to hear it!! God Bless.